Day 2: Christmas Music

My neighbors are still playing the freaking music. The Christmas music. In October. Now, October is a fine month. It’s filled with great things, like Thanksgiving and Halloween. I get to stuff my face, and watch girls parade around in cat-themed lingerie used as Halloween costumes. Really, it’s a great month, and I’m sure most men would agree with me. If not, they are probably lying.

So here I am, in the middle of one of my favorite months of the year, and it’s being wrecked by Christmas. In the middle of this fine month, my manager feels the need to start adding Christmas music to the store’s playlist. Not only do I hate the place I work at already, but they now feel the need to torture us by starting the Christmas Music!!! Now, I’m not one to complain for no reason, but I’m pretty sure Christmas music before Halloween is reason enough.

So what is it about Christmas music that gets on my nerves? In a word, repetition. Because it’s hard to get annoyed at something that you only encounter once. But if you have to suffer it over and over and over and over again, you might just get what I’m talking about.

Now, Wonderful Christmas Time is a great song, and Paul McCartney is great singer. But if you had listened to THAT song in excess of 5 times over the course of one day, then you would be haunted by that twangy synthesizer, as it slowly drives you mad.

My neighbors have their house decked out in Halloween decorations, and yet just the other day, I saw them hauling their Christmas decorations out of the garage. What kind of sick joke is this? Am I in danger of having Christmas take up the last three months of the calendar, erasing all the lingerie-clad revelry and aforementioned mouth stuffing?

If I get my hands on the guy making the song choices in my store, and in the malls everywhere, there’s a good chance I’ll hold him hostage till he sets things straight. Maybe I’ll tie him to his chair with sparkly, itchy Christmas garlands. And play him Wonderful Christmas Time 30 times in a row. How’s that for Christmas cheer. Asshole.

And that’s another reason why I hate Christmas.

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